see, you read that and think that i am the most shallow person in the world.
it's not true anyway.
the truth is... i only like guys who shave their head. there, i've said it. my last two boyfriends had shaved heads, and i realised recently that i look at all guys who have hair on their heads in disgust.
i horrify myself.
i whinge and whine about people who are superficial and bitch about girls who have prerequisites about the kinds of guys they will date (needs to be taller than me, no body piercings, they can't wear gel in their hair etc etc) and i used to think that these girls should have been added to my list of people who should be shot.
but i am now one of those girls! i want to scream that i'm not... i mean, i like guys based on what they're like as people and how they interact with me and the world around them and how nice they are... AND IF THEY'RE BALD! i can't believe myself.
and what makes it even worse is that no one tells me off for feeling that way, in fact it's quite the opposite. it's more like they're encouraging me and giving the impression that i'm doing a nice thing for these bald men to single them out and be attracted to them because, let's face it, they're in the minority re: guys who are considered hot.
and it's come to the point where i embarrass myself. at dancing a couple of months ago one of my male friends split up with his long time girlfriend for a week and in that period shaved his head. my jaw literally hit the floor. it was like as if i'd never seen him before and was only truly seeing him for the first time now. i was jumbling up my words and could barely get out, 'uh, wow... uh, G., uh, when... why... i mean... when did you, uh, shave your head?' 'oh i did it last night', he replied nonchalantly. 'oh, uhm, you now... you look really good, like seriously, you... you should shave your head more often, like all the time.' by this stage my face was burning from firstly finding myself attracted to him, and secondly; being embarrassed by the fact that i suddenly couldn't speak and turned into a rambling idiot.
i'm not shallow; i deplore shallow people
i'm not superficial; i deplore those who are superficial
i'm not just into looks... but gee i like bald guys
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
superpoked to death
in reference to my other blog's previous post i have actually had to msn style block someone literally from my life because that's how obsessed he became with me.
in computer terms he's nudged, poked, superpoked me to death. for over one months i received mobile messages and telephone calls every day. i am such a sook when it comes to confrontation, and i think he is the only person EVER who i am making an effort to never run into again.
in computer terms he's nudged, poked, superpoked me to death. for over one months i received mobile messages and telephone calls every day. i am such a sook when it comes to confrontation, and i think he is the only person EVER who i am making an effort to never run into again.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
when i have my own country...
WARNING! IF YOU'VE NEVER READ ANY OF MY OTHER POSTS DON'T LET THIS BE THE FIRST ONE YOU READ! move onto another and come back to this later so you know i'm not a whacko. thankyou.
these will be the males that my friends and I will shoot:
cheaters. enough said.
Chris from Chris and Marie's plant farm.
guys who stand in the middle of a circle of friends and exclude others who were being polite.
Guys who can talk about themselves for 4 hours.
guys who talk about their exes on a date.
muzzas / marios
guys who boast about the number of 'chicks' they've slept with.
guys who wear skinny leg jeans.
guys who are totally cheap... stingy guys who take you to la porchetta cos they think it's fine dining. by the way, we are more than willing to pay, but we want to see that the guy would pay if we couldn't, that's all. one of my feinds has a friend who was taken to MACCAS on a date.
guys who invite you out as though there are no intentions and then turn it into a date
guys with the expectation that girls will stay at home, make babies and cook for the rest of their lives.
guys who love the good old double standard: it's ok for them to slut around but when a girl does a millionth of what they do it's the end of the world.
guys who refuse to go shopping with you. specifically, guys who are petrified of going near bras'n'things like as though they will immediately die if they enter.
guys who have their underwear sticking out and their pants' waist are under their butt cheeks and they're constantly grabbing handfulls of their pants and dragging them up their backsides to no avail.
guys who grab and rearrange their stuff in public... if we did that, what would they be thinking?
white guys who pretend that they're black... you wigga
guys who think that getting high or drunk is the only way to have fun
guys who think your face is located near your chest and who converse with your breasts.
guys who think it's ok to put their hand up your skirt when you walk past them in a crowded club.
guys who are balding, have only a few hairs on their head but still use handfulls of gel.
guys who you've told several times that the answer is NO and believe this translates to YES
stalkers. enough said
obsessive guys. quite scary.
guys who treat their cars as if they're human. sometimes, they treat them better than their girlfreinds. hmm. especially when they talk lovingly about their cars and refer to their car (inatimate object by the way) and 'her' and 'she'.
excessively hairy guys that don't do ANYTHING about it ... and expect their girls to have not one stray hair on any part of their bodies.
guys who want their girlfriends to stay skinny but who accumulate beer bellies, chubby cheeks (both ends) and that's ok
guys who blatently perve on other girls in front of their girlfriends
guys who flirt in front of their girlfriends... or any other time for that matter
guys who believe in the different postcode rule. for god's sake, it was once in an american movie and guys nowadays treat it as gospel
Liars!
guys who wear the same aftershave as my nonno
guys who go out with several girls at once and use one another as their backups.
THE FOLLOWING ARE ADDED BY MY FREINDS AND ARE NOT SUPPORTED BY ME!:
guys who have huge feet and you later find out it's false advertising
Guys who have hairy butt cheeks... trying hard to not confuse you with a monkey!
guys who permanently wear hats, we doubt they even take them off in the shower, when they do they must have a permanent hat mark
guys who have no sense of humour... were you forced to watch IT as a child? you should go get your rear ends examined as you may find a pole up there
guys who can't take it when they realise that girls are better at arcade games than they are... sorry boys but games were not made for males only, so get used to being beaten at your own game!
chauvinist pigs who talk badly about women and who are ignorant to the fact it's 2008... no offence guys but the world is no longer dominated by you (my freind also inserted here 'and we do it better cos we're smarter' but i don't believe that)
guys who are intimidated by strong independant womes and who find them a turn off... would you prefer a woman who is too scared and shy and meek to say or do anything? do you want a partner or a slave?
guys who refer to women as bitch and slut... you guys aren't god's gift to women and the sooner you realise that your brain is located in your head the better for
these will be the males that my friends and I will shoot:
cheaters. enough said.
Chris from Chris and Marie's plant farm.
guys who stand in the middle of a circle of friends and exclude others who were being polite.
Guys who can talk about themselves for 4 hours.
guys who talk about their exes on a date.
muzzas / marios
guys who boast about the number of 'chicks' they've slept with.
guys who wear skinny leg jeans.
guys who are totally cheap... stingy guys who take you to la porchetta cos they think it's fine dining. by the way, we are more than willing to pay, but we want to see that the guy would pay if we couldn't, that's all. one of my feinds has a friend who was taken to MACCAS on a date.
guys who invite you out as though there are no intentions and then turn it into a date
guys with the expectation that girls will stay at home, make babies and cook for the rest of their lives.
guys who love the good old double standard: it's ok for them to slut around but when a girl does a millionth of what they do it's the end of the world.
guys who refuse to go shopping with you. specifically, guys who are petrified of going near bras'n'things like as though they will immediately die if they enter.
guys who have their underwear sticking out and their pants' waist are under their butt cheeks and they're constantly grabbing handfulls of their pants and dragging them up their backsides to no avail.
guys who grab and rearrange their stuff in public... if we did that, what would they be thinking?
white guys who pretend that they're black... you wigga
guys who think that getting high or drunk is the only way to have fun
guys who think your face is located near your chest and who converse with your breasts.
guys who think it's ok to put their hand up your skirt when you walk past them in a crowded club.
guys who are balding, have only a few hairs on their head but still use handfulls of gel.
guys who you've told several times that the answer is NO and believe this translates to YES
stalkers. enough said
obsessive guys. quite scary.
guys who treat their cars as if they're human. sometimes, they treat them better than their girlfreinds. hmm. especially when they talk lovingly about their cars and refer to their car (inatimate object by the way) and 'her' and 'she'.
excessively hairy guys that don't do ANYTHING about it ... and expect their girls to have not one stray hair on any part of their bodies.
guys who want their girlfriends to stay skinny but who accumulate beer bellies, chubby cheeks (both ends) and that's ok
guys who blatently perve on other girls in front of their girlfriends
guys who flirt in front of their girlfriends... or any other time for that matter
guys who believe in the different postcode rule. for god's sake, it was once in an american movie and guys nowadays treat it as gospel
Liars!
guys who wear the same aftershave as my nonno
guys who go out with several girls at once and use one another as their backups.
THE FOLLOWING ARE ADDED BY MY FREINDS AND ARE NOT SUPPORTED BY ME!:
guys who have huge feet and you later find out it's false advertising
Guys who have hairy butt cheeks... trying hard to not confuse you with a monkey!
guys who permanently wear hats, we doubt they even take them off in the shower, when they do they must have a permanent hat mark
guys who have no sense of humour... were you forced to watch IT as a child? you should go get your rear ends examined as you may find a pole up there
guys who can't take it when they realise that girls are better at arcade games than they are... sorry boys but games were not made for males only, so get used to being beaten at your own game!
chauvinist pigs who talk badly about women and who are ignorant to the fact it's 2008... no offence guys but the world is no longer dominated by you (my freind also inserted here 'and we do it better cos we're smarter' but i don't believe that)
guys who are intimidated by strong independant womes and who find them a turn off... would you prefer a woman who is too scared and shy and meek to say or do anything? do you want a partner or a slave?
guys who refer to women as bitch and slut... you guys aren't god's gift to women and the sooner you realise that your brain is located in your head the better for
hello... do you like my palm?
i've never laughed so hard in my life.
D. has a socially retarded friend, C. She scares the immortal crap out of every single guy who has ever shown even the slightest interest in dating her and manages to turn them off once they've already said they'll go out on a date with her and then they back out.
i decided to come to the rescue by volunteering myself and D. for one night to take C. out... to go speed dating. I thought it would be good for C., cos not only would she actually get to the date stage, she would get 20 dates in one night.
So D. and I began researching speed dating. Neither of us had any other knowledge apart from watching that one Kath and Kim episode. So we googled it.
well.
let's just say we quickly decided that C. can never go on a date for the rest of her life and we still won't be stooping to going speed dating for her sake. after reading the kind of tips it gave to dating hopefuls (eg. 'wear deodorant') we realised that we would be in a room FULL of social retards.
observe the list below...
SIGNS SHE IS INTERESTED
Sidelong glances
Looks at him a few times
Holds his gaze briefly
She has downcast eyes, then she looks away
Touches her neck or hair
Touches her lips
Turns body towards him
Tilts her head
Narrows her eyes slightly into an eye smile
Flashes her palm
Smiles
SIGNS HE IS INTERESTED
Looks at you
Moves his body to face you
Posture changes to alert
Adjusts his tie
Puts his hand in his pocket
Dangles his hand from his belt
Slight movement of the pelvis backward
Leans towards you
Smiles
Adopts an open body posture
there are several that i could have a good laugh at, but for the purpose of this post i will only focus on one: GUYS, SHE IS INTERESTED IF SHE FLASHED HER PALM AT YOU.
what the? so after much laughter we decided to put this theory to the test at the Belgian Beer Garden on saturday night. D., my friend S., the lovely socially impaired C. and myself were there. D. and S. went first, leaving me to struggle to converse with C. at the table. 10 minutes later they ran back to us, laughing and yelling 'it worked!'
D. went up to a guy and held out her palm at chest level. he stopped talking, looked down in amazement, and D. quickly asked 'what are you thinking?' He answered, 'I think i like you!' 'Great!' cried D., walking off. 'it's just an experiment, thanks!'
the next guy gave her a high five and told her that it was the best pick up tactic he'd ever seen. She thanked him and moved on. We tried this again and again, and we had 100% success rate. I even sat down at a whole table full of guys and just presented both of my hands. Guys were breaking their necks trying to fight over who was going to have the privelige to read my palm, with the winning guy yelling 'i did a certificate in palm reading, outta my way!'
but the fact remains that guys are still dickheads because the first guy who we palmed later on threw a bottle of alcohol at a security guard who ducked. The bottle sprayed all over us and hit S. in the foot.
D. has a socially retarded friend, C. She scares the immortal crap out of every single guy who has ever shown even the slightest interest in dating her and manages to turn them off once they've already said they'll go out on a date with her and then they back out.
i decided to come to the rescue by volunteering myself and D. for one night to take C. out... to go speed dating. I thought it would be good for C., cos not only would she actually get to the date stage, she would get 20 dates in one night.
So D. and I began researching speed dating. Neither of us had any other knowledge apart from watching that one Kath and Kim episode. So we googled it.
well.
let's just say we quickly decided that C. can never go on a date for the rest of her life and we still won't be stooping to going speed dating for her sake. after reading the kind of tips it gave to dating hopefuls (eg. 'wear deodorant') we realised that we would be in a room FULL of social retards.
observe the list below...
SIGNS SHE IS INTERESTED
Sidelong glances
Looks at him a few times
Holds his gaze briefly
She has downcast eyes, then she looks away
Touches her neck or hair
Touches her lips
Turns body towards him
Tilts her head
Narrows her eyes slightly into an eye smile
Flashes her palm
Smiles
SIGNS HE IS INTERESTED
Looks at you
Moves his body to face you
Posture changes to alert
Adjusts his tie
Puts his hand in his pocket
Dangles his hand from his belt
Slight movement of the pelvis backward
Leans towards you
Smiles
Adopts an open body posture
there are several that i could have a good laugh at, but for the purpose of this post i will only focus on one: GUYS, SHE IS INTERESTED IF SHE FLASHED HER PALM AT YOU.
what the? so after much laughter we decided to put this theory to the test at the Belgian Beer Garden on saturday night. D., my friend S., the lovely socially impaired C. and myself were there. D. and S. went first, leaving me to struggle to converse with C. at the table. 10 minutes later they ran back to us, laughing and yelling 'it worked!'
D. went up to a guy and held out her palm at chest level. he stopped talking, looked down in amazement, and D. quickly asked 'what are you thinking?' He answered, 'I think i like you!' 'Great!' cried D., walking off. 'it's just an experiment, thanks!'
the next guy gave her a high five and told her that it was the best pick up tactic he'd ever seen. She thanked him and moved on. We tried this again and again, and we had 100% success rate. I even sat down at a whole table full of guys and just presented both of my hands. Guys were breaking their necks trying to fight over who was going to have the privelige to read my palm, with the winning guy yelling 'i did a certificate in palm reading, outta my way!'
but the fact remains that guys are still dickheads because the first guy who we palmed later on threw a bottle of alcohol at a security guard who ducked. The bottle sprayed all over us and hit S. in the foot.
Monday, January 21, 2008
long walks on the beach
we were walking down lygon street and a group of guys split themselves to let us through. as we walked past, one guy put his arm around his friend's shoulder and began talking to us, 'girls! this is my friend John. John is a lovely guy. John enjoys long walks on the beach. John... (we had walked past by now) John... no? ok, well your loss.'
I then heard him begin his spiel again 2 seconds later to the next girls that walked past.
I then heard him begin his spiel again 2 seconds later to the next girls that walked past.
choices, choices, choices
ah the possibilities.
me and a couple of girl friends were at the spot dancing, and a guy behind my friend P. took his jacket off and held it at waist level by the shoulders and began to wave at her ass as though she was a bull. He did this all night.
so...
me and a couple of girl friends were at the spot dancing, and a guy behind my friend P. took his jacket off and held it at waist level by the shoulders and began to wave at her ass as though she was a bull. He did this all night.
so...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
blinkers
people who are happily in successful relationships think it's us (me and the girls) who are the problem. That we don't give guys a chance and we should get to know them. That there are 'heaps' of single available guys so 'what's the problem then?'
as my friend S. so succinctly put it tonight... 'married people have blinkers on'
At a bar tonight S. was talking with an ex work colleague (EWC) who is married. EWC then walked S. over to the birthday boy and introduced them as follows:
EWC: S., this is Birthday Boy. He's single. Birthday Boy, this is S. She's also single.
To HRMs (Happy Relationship Morons)this situation of two people who are both single will suffice to provide a relationship. What they don't understand is all the rest that comes after you've established that the guy is single. It is nearly impossible to fight the urge to sigh and walk away mid sentence when the Single Guy is boasting about any of the following:
-his assets... my friends and I are not gold diggers and the entire topic of conversation makes me annoyed
-his assets and you know they're imaginary
-how he dates models often
-how high up he is in his company or how many people he has underneath him
-how much alcohol he can consume without passing out (yeah, that one goes down a real treat with me)
HRMs just don't get it. And i'm willing to bet my life that if HRMs thought back to when they met their other half, those ridiculous things weren't in their conversations.
as my friend S. so succinctly put it tonight... 'married people have blinkers on'
At a bar tonight S. was talking with an ex work colleague (EWC) who is married. EWC then walked S. over to the birthday boy and introduced them as follows:
EWC: S., this is Birthday Boy. He's single. Birthday Boy, this is S. She's also single.
To HRMs (Happy Relationship Morons)this situation of two people who are both single will suffice to provide a relationship. What they don't understand is all the rest that comes after you've established that the guy is single. It is nearly impossible to fight the urge to sigh and walk away mid sentence when the Single Guy is boasting about any of the following:
-his assets... my friends and I are not gold diggers and the entire topic of conversation makes me annoyed
-his assets and you know they're imaginary
-how he dates models often
-how high up he is in his company or how many people he has underneath him
-how much alcohol he can consume without passing out (yeah, that one goes down a real treat with me)
HRMs just don't get it. And i'm willing to bet my life that if HRMs thought back to when they met their other half, those ridiculous things weren't in their conversations.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
worst EVER!
We went to the spot on thursday night and two absolutely disusting things happpened.
disgusting story number 1:
My friend S. came on her own to meet me and my friends at The Spot on Sydney Road in Brunswick. She explained what had happened to her when she got out of the car by herself.
S: I got out of the car and this group of guys yelled out-
B: show us your tits
S: they yelled show us your-
B: tits
S: CUNT
If there is one word in the English language that is still not acceptable to say because it's just too vulgar it's that word. I cannot believe someone said that.
disgusting story number 2:
I was dancing at the end of the dance floor, facing S. Behind her was a tall table with a 45 year old man watching me dance. He was staring so unashamedly and it was infuriating. I kept on looking up at him and giving him a look, but he simply didn't care and kept holding my gaze like as if it was a mutual thing (ha!) He then took his camera phone out of his pocket, held it high with the flash on and took a photo of me. My jaw hit the floor. I was mouthing to him every four letter word under the sun. He looked at me with a smile on his lips, looked down at his phone still smiling, and walked off to the toilet immediately!
In hindsight if that happens again i am going to tackle the pervert for the phone and delete the number... should make for an interesting post if it happens.
disgusting story number 1:
My friend S. came on her own to meet me and my friends at The Spot on Sydney Road in Brunswick. She explained what had happened to her when she got out of the car by herself.
S: I got out of the car and this group of guys yelled out-
B: show us your tits
S: they yelled show us your-
B: tits
S: CUNT
If there is one word in the English language that is still not acceptable to say because it's just too vulgar it's that word. I cannot believe someone said that.
disgusting story number 2:
I was dancing at the end of the dance floor, facing S. Behind her was a tall table with a 45 year old man watching me dance. He was staring so unashamedly and it was infuriating. I kept on looking up at him and giving him a look, but he simply didn't care and kept holding my gaze like as if it was a mutual thing (ha!) He then took his camera phone out of his pocket, held it high with the flash on and took a photo of me. My jaw hit the floor. I was mouthing to him every four letter word under the sun. He looked at me with a smile on his lips, looked down at his phone still smiling, and walked off to the toilet immediately!
In hindsight if that happens again i am going to tackle the pervert for the phone and delete the number... should make for an interesting post if it happens.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
pose for the camera!
Uncle P has explained to his daughters and nieces what we've been doing wrong all this time. Thank God, all this time I thought it was all the males in the world, it's actually me... because I had never really been able to succeed in Uncle P's 6 step pick up pose. I shit you not.
STEP 1- raise your eyebrows expectantly
STEP 2- open your eyes as wide as they go
STEP 3- smile, ensuring that you are showing teeth
STEP 4- twist your shoulders so your face is to the one you want to pick up and your shoulders are facing the other direction... highly unnatural stance i might add
STEP 5- tilt your head down, keeping your eyes up
STEP 6- FLUTTER YOUR EYELIDS!!!
i have nothing more to add, i don't need to tease this, it does it itself.
STEP 1- raise your eyebrows expectantly
STEP 2- open your eyes as wide as they go
STEP 3- smile, ensuring that you are showing teeth
STEP 4- twist your shoulders so your face is to the one you want to pick up and your shoulders are facing the other direction... highly unnatural stance i might add
STEP 5- tilt your head down, keeping your eyes up
STEP 6- FLUTTER YOUR EYELIDS!!!
i have nothing more to add, i don't need to tease this, it does it itself.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
show us ya tits
yes they actually say that. i went out with 3 friends last night and as soon as just one of us was beginning to get out of the car a group of guys made a beeline for her, asking 'where are you off to tonight?'
we shook them off.
then a guy accross the road yelled out 'show us ya tits'
we ignored him.
then we walked into the club, guys trying to stand in front of us so we would be forced to talk to them as we tried to maneouvre our way around them so we could go to the toilet.
we walked into the unisex toilets and i saw a boy walking out of the half that was designated for girls, i looked at him and said 'this is the girl's toilet, get out'. he ran past me. one of the barmaids walked out behind him and told me angrily that she had just found him having sex in the toilet with a girl who had already run out. 'F'n pig' she spat.
then later on at crown we were heading towards the escalators and two guys joined our group and started talking a hundred miles an hour 'hey, how you girls going, what did you get up to tonight etc' they followed us down on the step behind us continuing their blabber, one of the guys putting their head between mine and my friend's head. we weren't saying anything, and one of my friends looked at her shoes. This made the guy pipe up 'now you're looking away from me and pretending you can't hear me, see we're connecting and i don't even know you yet' I burst out laughing.
we got to the bottom and they were still crapping on and they were desperate to get our attention so one of them pulled my friend's hair (grade 2!?) she turned around and yelled 'don't touch my hair!' and we kept on walking. she was really angry cos he had really yanked at it. then he came up to us outside, still trying desperately to get a reaction, and i turned to him in my primary holiday program voice and asked him sternly if he would 'come over her so i can pull your hair out from the roots' They finally got lost.
ah, happy happy joy joy.
we shook them off.
then a guy accross the road yelled out 'show us ya tits'
we ignored him.
then we walked into the club, guys trying to stand in front of us so we would be forced to talk to them as we tried to maneouvre our way around them so we could go to the toilet.
we walked into the unisex toilets and i saw a boy walking out of the half that was designated for girls, i looked at him and said 'this is the girl's toilet, get out'. he ran past me. one of the barmaids walked out behind him and told me angrily that she had just found him having sex in the toilet with a girl who had already run out. 'F'n pig' she spat.
then later on at crown we were heading towards the escalators and two guys joined our group and started talking a hundred miles an hour 'hey, how you girls going, what did you get up to tonight etc' they followed us down on the step behind us continuing their blabber, one of the guys putting their head between mine and my friend's head. we weren't saying anything, and one of my friends looked at her shoes. This made the guy pipe up 'now you're looking away from me and pretending you can't hear me, see we're connecting and i don't even know you yet' I burst out laughing.
we got to the bottom and they were still crapping on and they were desperate to get our attention so one of them pulled my friend's hair (grade 2!?) she turned around and yelled 'don't touch my hair!' and we kept on walking. she was really angry cos he had really yanked at it. then he came up to us outside, still trying desperately to get a reaction, and i turned to him in my primary holiday program voice and asked him sternly if he would 'come over her so i can pull your hair out from the roots' They finally got lost.
ah, happy happy joy joy.
Monday, November 26, 2007
no shame whatsoever
it's just that they don't care. they don't care if you think they're morons, or that they're stupid or anything at all.
i was at the dress up christmas party and i was posing for my friend who was taking a photo of me in my geisha costume. right as she was saying 'one, two...' this random guy who didn't know any of us came up behind me, put his arm around me, and posed with his other hand doing the peace sign. i turned around to him and said 'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?' at which point the flash went off which has now made for a fantastic photo.
who DOES that?!
i was at the dress up christmas party and i was posing for my friend who was taking a photo of me in my geisha costume. right as she was saying 'one, two...' this random guy who didn't know any of us came up behind me, put his arm around me, and posed with his other hand doing the peace sign. i turned around to him and said 'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?' at which point the flash went off which has now made for a fantastic photo.
who DOES that?!
a first
so this blog has shown so far that every time we meet a male stranger they prove to be dickheads. for the first time since i began writing this that did not happen.
Danielle and I went to St Kilda sea baths last night and went to the bar to have drinks. when i said 'thank you very much' the bartender turned to me, pointed his index fingers at me like guns, and said 'no, thank YOU very much!'
danielle and i smiled. he smiled back.
this just shows that it takes VERY LITTLE to impress us due to all the other morons, and comparitively he was a catch!
Danielle and I went to St Kilda sea baths last night and went to the bar to have drinks. when i said 'thank you very much' the bartender turned to me, pointed his index fingers at me like guns, and said 'no, thank YOU very much!'
danielle and i smiled. he smiled back.
this just shows that it takes VERY LITTLE to impress us due to all the other morons, and comparitively he was a catch!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
must have something to do with hudson's...
i went in for my 3rd massage today and got there a bit early, so again i decided to pop into Hudson's for a coffee. As i stepped into the cafè i saw shakira boy having a break, who stopped talking to his co-worker mid sentence, dropped his jaw and did not make any attempt whatsoever to hide the fact that he was looking me up and down... and up and down... and up and down. i looked at him, muttered 'ffs' and rolled my eyes.
later on i was walking back down King's street and there was a 20-something relatively good-looking guy sitting on a table outside. well i thought he was good looking till i heard him say 'hey baby! how you doing?...' i edged closer to the window shop as i walked past him when all of a sudden his friend, from the inside of the coffee shop, tapped manically at the glass right as my face was only 10 centimetres away. i jumped in the air and tried to compose my walking so i wouldn't fall, all the while he was still saying random crap like 'what... you can't speak? speak to me will ya?'
after i was a few meters away i realised that one of the things he yelled sounded a lot like 'don't hate me cos you aint me'. COME ON!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
day mmm-hmmm
i went to a new kebab shop near work for lunch yesterday. i sat down and waited for my food on the same small cafe table as a 40-ish man. i gave him a tiny meaningless smile when i sat down, which just meant 'i'm going to sit down at this table for a minute' come on, everyone knows if you're invading someone's space or in this matter someone's table you have to be nice about it, therefore the smile. EVERYONE knows it is not a pick up tactic. it's like as when you're at church and it's full and you have to sqeeze past people, you give them a little nothing smile to say 'sorry if i'm inconveniencing you but i'm going to do it anyway'. you don't see guys at church jumping up and asking 'so what natio are ya?'
anyway so the 40 year old starts chatting me up while i gave him one word answers and turned away from him slightly and became suddenly extremely interested in eating my dolmades which weren't even mine, i bought them for my boss, but i just didn't want to talk to him and figured if i had a mouth full of vine leaves it would make for a valid excuse.
all that aside... when i'm 40, if i'm still single i would never chat up a 23 year old. and if i did it wouldn't be as lame as 'so... how's your day been / hot weather we've been having hey / myself, i like the rain, it's romantic (i gagged at this point)'
my life is futile.
Monday, November 12, 2007
day whatever
it's hard to sit down and write all the idiotic things that have happened male-related because they're such a common occurance that i think they're normal and i quickly forget them.
1- 2 days ago, driving with the windows down with my friend and we both looked REALLY good, a guy stuck his head out the window of a party bus and barked at us to get our attention... like in coming to america when she barks like the little dog ARK ARK ARK.
HMM I'LL ADD MORE TO THIS LATER....
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
day whatever i'm up to of this experiment
see now mum and dad clearly don't want me to have accurate findings for this experiment so they took cass and me to the yarra valley where we were the only girls under the age of 55... even the parentals were young comparitively. so i have no stories to write about here.
last night we went to cq in the city. it was FREEZING so i wore jeans, heels, a singlet and a jumper for the walk from the car to the club. the bouncer took one look at what my friend and i were wearing (she was wearing a cardigan too) and said 'don't bother, you're not getting in'. he then proceeded to let in random girls who were very clearly dressed by blind people in because you could see their butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of either hot pants or micro mini skirts.
i have never been knocked back, so i wasn't really upset, but it just goes to show that in order for us to meet guys we would have to go where guys are and in order to get into where the guys are we need to be wearing our bikinis on a 12 degree night!
last night we went to cq in the city. it was FREEZING so i wore jeans, heels, a singlet and a jumper for the walk from the car to the club. the bouncer took one look at what my friend and i were wearing (she was wearing a cardigan too) and said 'don't bother, you're not getting in'. he then proceeded to let in random girls who were very clearly dressed by blind people in because you could see their butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of either hot pants or micro mini skirts.
i have never been knocked back, so i wasn't really upset, but it just goes to show that in order for us to meet guys we would have to go where guys are and in order to get into where the guys are we need to be wearing our bikinis on a 12 degree night!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
days 3 and 4
well nothing happened only because i only came in contact with my workmates and then my immediate family. this just further proves that we are guaranteed for something stupid to happen if we leave the house.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
day three of experiment
i went dancing and there was a tall skinny guy who i think had the wrong idea of dancing. he was trying so hard to press his pelvis up against mine, so i did my special thumb grip on his shoulder and pushed him away. he was still on his mission, so every time he danced with me he bent his knees and turned into this concave skinny semi circle... i could dance because i was still standing up strait, but he looked like an absolute retard, because his shoulders and feet were far away from me but his hips were in towards me.
he's probably woken up with a nice bruise on his right shoulder
:)
he's probably woken up with a nice bruise on his right shoulder
:)
Sunday, October 28, 2007
day two of experiment
i stayed at home during the day so i thought i wouldn't have any stories since dad is pretty much normal and adrian is in japan. i was cleaning out my bookshelf and i came across an old email Danielle had sent me dated friday 15 september 2000... 7 years ago.
...oh i forgot to tell you about smelly boy. i was at practice on sunday and this fat boy with orange hair kept coming up to me and smiling. he wore enough deodorant for 20 people and it was killing me. his position in the dance turned out to be right next to me and i had to hold his hand for 10 minutes... it was torture!
then i was talking to my friend and she stopped me, so i turned around and his stinking fat head was on top of my shoulders, practically in my neck! after i told him to piss off, he moved onto three other girls in my school. they are year 11's and he kept on going up to them.
stinky- hey girls
girls- piss off
stinky- i'm turning you on
girls- yeah you're right keep trying
(girls then bent down)
stinky- nice view
girls- piss off we don't date year 10's
stinky- that's alright i'm a year 9 (what an idiot)
girls- go away we don't like you
stinky- they want me, bad.
...oh i forgot to tell you about smelly boy. i was at practice on sunday and this fat boy with orange hair kept coming up to me and smiling. he wore enough deodorant for 20 people and it was killing me. his position in the dance turned out to be right next to me and i had to hold his hand for 10 minutes... it was torture!
then i was talking to my friend and she stopped me, so i turned around and his stinking fat head was on top of my shoulders, practically in my neck! after i told him to piss off, he moved onto three other girls in my school. they are year 11's and he kept on going up to them.
stinky- hey girls
girls- piss off
stinky- i'm turning you on
girls- yeah you're right keep trying
(girls then bent down)
stinky- nice view
girls- piss off we don't date year 10's
stinky- that's alright i'm a year 9 (what an idiot)
girls- go away we don't like you
stinky- they want me, bad.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
first day of experiment
ok, so our parents think we've lost it because my cousins and i are:
-fussy
-hard to get along with
-basically not nice
-never going to move out of home because we're never going to get married.
I walk in the city on the first day and i see a car to the left of me with 3 guy's hands out the window waving like lunatics to get my attention. i walk into hudson's coffee and order an iced coffee. the guy who makes it for me accidentally gives it to me with no lid. he realises, and yells 'oh-oh-hang on-oh!' and breaks his neck to get me the lid. i turn to get a straw and he yells again 'here here here!' and hands me a straw. RELAX!
that seems nice, but it can get kind of annoying after a while, but anyway, i'm not really complaining... yet.
lol, the crazy waiter just came up behind me and started cleaning the table (i'm using their internet) and got my attention by starting to sing the beyonce and shakira song... hope he didn't read this.
driving down mt alexander road stuck in traffic with the windows down a guy asked us where we were going. we both politely stated the obvious 'nowhere' and he then asked us in earnest if we would give him a lift to the city.
we went to park the car and a guy across the road asked us where we were going. we answered 'nowhere' very nicely cos we didn't want to annoy him because i didn't want him to key my car cos i had finally found a park.
we walked down to the restaurant and there was a guy standing on the corner who asked us out to dinner by using no words... instead he pointed at us, motioned shovelling food into his mouth, and then raised his eyebrows. he repeated this process twice.
driving back out from dinner we wound up our windows and locked our doors. a guy ran in front of the car so i had to slam on the brakes and stop, in which time he then ran to the passenger door to try to open it.
-fussy
-hard to get along with
-basically not nice
-never going to move out of home because we're never going to get married.
I walk in the city on the first day and i see a car to the left of me with 3 guy's hands out the window waving like lunatics to get my attention. i walk into hudson's coffee and order an iced coffee. the guy who makes it for me accidentally gives it to me with no lid. he realises, and yells 'oh-oh-hang on-oh!' and breaks his neck to get me the lid. i turn to get a straw and he yells again 'here here here!' and hands me a straw. RELAX!
that seems nice, but it can get kind of annoying after a while, but anyway, i'm not really complaining... yet.
lol, the crazy waiter just came up behind me and started cleaning the table (i'm using their internet) and got my attention by starting to sing the beyonce and shakira song... hope he didn't read this.
driving down mt alexander road stuck in traffic with the windows down a guy asked us where we were going. we both politely stated the obvious 'nowhere' and he then asked us in earnest if we would give him a lift to the city.
we went to park the car and a guy across the road asked us where we were going. we answered 'nowhere' very nicely cos we didn't want to annoy him because i didn't want him to key my car cos i had finally found a park.
we walked down to the restaurant and there was a guy standing on the corner who asked us out to dinner by using no words... instead he pointed at us, motioned shovelling food into his mouth, and then raised his eyebrows. he repeated this process twice.
driving back out from dinner we wound up our windows and locked our doors. a guy ran in front of the car so i had to slam on the brakes and stop, in which time he then ran to the passenger door to try to open it.
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