free

I am so happy. Not 'I'm in a good mood'. Not 'I'm having a good day.' I'm ecstatic. And relieved. And normal again.

I went strait from work to the hairdressers last night. I decided to put purple in my hair. I love it. I then went strait to my cousin's house to have dinner and watch SYTYCD. Then strait to Copa for salsa.

I walked in, and even though I had no makeup on cos i'm trying to get rid of a couple of pimples, and my hair was a bit porno starrish cos of the way the hairdresser set it, i didn't care, cos I love everyone at dancing and they love me cos of how i dance and how i am, not how i look.

i sat down and started changing into my dance shoes. I kept getting interrupted cos everyone was coming up to me to kiss me. When my friend R. kissed me i saw past him that my ex was there. We made eye contact. I went back to R. and kept talking, and leant back down to finish hooking the strap in.

And then it clicked; I felt nothing. And oh my god, nothing is bliss! I actually checked again; i looked up and stared at him for a good minute. Nothing. No heart beating fast. No memories running through my head. I didn't feel like vomiting (unfortunately this feeling used to be the most common). In fact, my mind was saying 'Gee, B. get the hell over it, you love this song, don't waste it looking at him, get up and dance.'

so i did. I started dancing with one of the guys and he led me right in front of my ex and i danced and i didn't feel anything.

and i felt so right. i'm so happy i have my nose pierced and purple in my hair. it sounds ridiculous but i know that i would never have done either of those things had we stayed together. I remember the look of horror on his face after we broke up when he saw my stud... as though i'd totally gone off the rails. How ridiculous.

and this is the first entry on my public blog instead of my private about him. i am so chilled and happy.

maybe it's got to do with my weight, cos I'm now back to how much i weighed before we got together. we were together for a year and it's taken a full year to lose it all - on that thought perhaps i should stay single forever so i can stay this size... nah!

the power of words...

I am standing behind my salsa friend I., waiting to to buy an orange juice before going into the movies. I hear my message tone go off. I start to pull my phone out of my pocket.

I:Hey Bee, do you want me to just get it for you? the juice... and do you want a choctop?

Me:(opening my phone) um, yeah, get me an oj and... (i read the msg).. and (i can feel my face burn with a blush)... uhm...

I: Bee? what's wrong... oj and what? (he looks at my phone)

Me: (flipping my phone closed and actually looking around suspiciously with a goofy smile on my face, making sure no one else has seen my personal message?!) oh... uhm... (i close my eyes to try to concentrate on what i'm trying to say but the words of the message are flashing across my eyes) i'll uhm... ehh... nothing... don't get me anything.

I: Huh? Bee, just choose something, come on, OJ and?

Me: (eyes closed, still burning) Nothing! I don't want anything! (slightly manic)

I: (looking at me like i'm a lunatic) Whatever...

Me: I'm going to the toilet!

Walking to the toilet I feel suspicious of everyone, and have the crazy feeling that they might know what the personal message was that I just read.

words... just words. and that's all it takes to impress me beyond belief. and - it wasn't even a dirty message. actually if it had been, it would have had less of an effect on me.

major kudos to those who can use words to express themselves - it sounds so basic - but i have yet to meet more than a handful of guys in the world who can do it.

anyway - this was just to illustrate how it takes very little to impress us... one sentence and i can be hooked.

if i hear the word 'fidanzato' one more time...

so we picked up even more relatives from italy on the weekend... and it's great. we get to sit around and talk about gory stories like how my cousin died in the shower and flooded his apartment, how my other cousin is still going through her 7 year adoption struggle with a child from Romania... and how I'm single.

like - me being single is as bad as my cousin having a heart attack and dying in the shower (RIP Paolo - no offense). i can't see how the two can bear equal weight.

i picked up my cousin who is here doing his PHD to take him to salsa a week ago. i decided to be polite and go inside and say a quick hi to my zia. she's got a broken foot at the moment so i figured i would only be stuck talking for as long as it took for me to leave.

Zia: Bee! come stai, eh?
Me: Hi Zia, good thanks, how are you?
Zia: not bad, but you know - questo piede (motioning to her foot)
Me: yeah i know zia, i know
Zia: allora, you're taking F. out? thatsa nice. E il suo fidanzato he's going too?
Me: ah, no zia, i don't have a fidanzato
Zia: ma che?! i thoughta you hadda fidanzato... last time you had one, no?
Me: yeah but zia, not anymore
Zia: ah... ti ha lasciato?
(insert B's thoughts here - why does everyone assume HE left ME? and the fact that it's correct shits me even more!)
Me: ah yeah zia, he left me, ages ago
Zia: ah Bee, no worry, no worry... meglio che ti ha lasciato addesso invece a dopo when you married
(FOR FUCK'S SAKE... better that he left you then than after you're married)
Me: Ok zia, yeah, e' meglio, i gotta go, ciao! (ran out)
Zia: ok ciao! (oblivious to what she's just said)

bleh - that was just the beginning of what happened - it pissed me off so much i can't even tell the point of my story.

and - can i just say - why is there no word for boyfriend in Italian? he is your nothing or he is your fiancé? there's no in between. it's so embarrassing when me or my cousins bring someone who isn't italian and our relatives try to speak english and say they're so happy to meet our 'fiances'. can they not just learn the word 'boyfriend'? they manage to learn the words 'marriage', 'kitchen tea', 'hen's night' and 'honeymoon'. agh!

spoiler for sex and the city movie... and tricks of the trade for a runny nose

When I have a runny nose I wander around the house with tissue stuffed into each nostril to catch the drips. I know, it's gross, but sometimes Demazin just doesn't cut it, and unlike my ex, A., I don't want to become addicted to nasal decongestants... so i freely admit to using the tissue-stuffed-in-nostril trick.

i went to watch the Sex and the City movie tonight with my sister, C., and my cousins D. and B. I had never really watched any of the episodes but i figured i couldn't go to salsa anyway because of my cold, so I may as well head down where all the other single females were heading.

well... let me tell you, it took me all of a millisecond to rename the single girls 'Wanker Bitches.' Sometimes i swear, i'm not denying it, but i have to say i felt an incredible need to swear continuously when i saw what some of the girls were wearing to watch a stupid movie at Highpoint. Highpoint. I've never even had to use italics in any of my posts before.

there were girls in twos, threes, fours, gangs. They were loud, giving one another's groups dirty looks to try to outdo each other. There were girls who looked like they had bridal makeup on, and there were stilletos galore. There were girls wearing clothes i wouldn't even wear clubbing - clothes I wouldn't even see salsa dancers wear in professional competitions, and they wear sweet FA. I was wearing black trackies, a purple top and a scarf, which were my work clothes. were they dressed up because they thought they were going to pick up? - impossible, the only males there were the ones who were dragged by their girlfriends. Did they think it was the correct attire to wear to watch such a movie? have i already mentioned that we watched the movie at Hightpoint?!

if you think i'm exaggerating i will name just two things i saw tonight;
1- a gold shimmery backless minidress
2- a fur coat (like actual fur, not fake)

HIGHPOINT

anyway, that's why i couldn't help but call them wanker bitches. it's not the nicest term i've come up with, but it sufficed for the night.

the movie - yeah i have bones to pick with it, but i don't know what was more annoying, the excessive girly loser crap that was happening in the movie or the idiotic girls in the theatre laughing at EVERY GODDAM THING that those 4 girls said.

like Samantha is living somewhere else, not in New York. But she goes down al the time to see the other 3. the first time they see her they scream and hug her and kiss her once on each cheek and go gaga. the second time they see her they scream and hug her and kiss her once on each cheek and go gaga. the fiftieth time (mind you, i think she spends more time in NY than her home, so really who cares?) they say 'guess who's here... Samantha!' and they all scream and hug her etc etc. and the girls in the cinemas laughed every single times, just as hard the fiftieth as they did the first. it just wasn't funny - simple.

C. told me she's going to act like that every time she runs into me in the corridor at home.

now - Carrie and Big's wedding. what is wrong with 214 people? that's only 107 from each side, and it's not like their families lived overseas or they didn't have friends. and what was so good about 75? i think i had 75 people attend my last dress up party.

why don't americans have even the slightest understanding of phone etiquette? what is so hard about saying goodbye at the end of the call? Big calls Carrie the night before the wedding, he tells her he's not sure about marrying her for goodness' sake, she mumbles some crap to him and they hang up without saying goodbye. then surprise surprise he doesn't turn up to the wedding the next day.

let me explain - you should say goodbye to close the conversation. because it was unfinished he called her the next day to try to complete what was left unsaid from the night before and she didn't pick up, therefore there was no wedding. ALL BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE.

and finally - my nose began running halfway through the movie and all i could think about was stuffing tissue up each nostril and putting myself out of my misery.

and that is why i think i'm single... because i can't work out how to stop my runny nose to the point where i cant concentrate on anything else. oh yeah, and i look seriously gross walking around with tissues sticking out of my nose.

I know that the person i end up marrying will be the person who thinks I look cute with ripped Kleenex sticking out of my runny nose.

where are my tissues?

i only like guys with big biceps

see, you read that and think that i am the most shallow person in the world.

it's not true anyway.

the truth is... i only like guys who shave their head. there, i've said it. my last two boyfriends had shaved heads, and i realised recently that i look at all guys who have hair on their heads in disgust.

i horrify myself.

i whinge and whine about people who are superficial and bitch about girls who have prerequisites about the kinds of guys they will date (needs to be taller than me, no body piercings, they can't wear gel in their hair etc etc) and i used to think that these girls should have been added to my list of people who should be shot.

but i am now one of those girls! i want to scream that i'm not... i mean, i like guys based on what they're like as people and how they interact with me and the world around them and how nice they are... AND IF THEY'RE BALD! i can't believe myself.

and what makes it even worse is that no one tells me off for feeling that way, in fact it's quite the opposite. it's more like they're encouraging me and giving the impression that i'm doing a nice thing for these bald men to single them out and be attracted to them because, let's face it, they're in the minority re: guys who are considered hot.

and it's come to the point where i embarrass myself. at dancing a couple of months ago one of my male friends split up with his long time girlfriend for a week and in that period shaved his head. my jaw literally hit the floor. it was like as if i'd never seen him before and was only truly seeing him for the first time now. i was jumbling up my words and could barely get out, 'uh, wow... uh, G., uh, when... why... i mean... when did you, uh, shave your head?' 'oh i did it last night', he replied nonchalantly. 'oh, uhm, you now... you look really good, like seriously, you... you should shave your head more often, like all the time.' by this stage my face was burning from firstly finding myself attracted to him, and secondly; being embarrassed by the fact that i suddenly couldn't speak and turned into a rambling idiot.

i'm not shallow; i deplore shallow people

i'm not superficial; i deplore those who are superficial

i'm not just into looks... but gee i like bald guys

superpoked to death

in reference to my other blog's previous post i have actually had to msn style block someone literally from my life because that's how obsessed he became with me.

in computer terms he's nudged, poked, superpoked me to death. for over one months i received mobile messages and telephone calls every day. i am such a sook when it comes to confrontation, and i think he is the only person EVER who i am making an effort to never run into again.

when i have my own country...

WARNING! IF YOU'VE NEVER READ ANY OF MY OTHER POSTS DON'T LET THIS BE THE FIRST ONE YOU READ! move onto another and come back to this later so you know i'm not a whacko. thankyou.


these will be the males that my friends and I will shoot:

cheaters. enough said.

Chris from Chris and Marie's plant farm.

guys who stand in the middle of a circle of friends and exclude others who were being polite.

Guys who can talk about themselves for 4 hours.

guys who talk about their exes on a date.

muzzas / marios

guys who boast about the number of 'chicks' they've slept with.

guys who wear skinny leg jeans.

guys who are totally cheap... stingy guys who take you to la porchetta cos they think it's fine dining. by the way, we are more than willing to pay, but we want to see that the guy would pay if we couldn't, that's all. one of my feinds has a friend who was taken to MACCAS on a date.

guys who invite you out as though there are no intentions and then turn it into a date

guys with the expectation that girls will stay at home, make babies and cook for the rest of their lives.

guys who love the good old double standard: it's ok for them to slut around but when a girl does a millionth of what they do it's the end of the world.

guys who refuse to go shopping with you. specifically, guys who are petrified of going near bras'n'things like as though they will immediately die if they enter.

guys who have their underwear sticking out and their pants' waist are under their butt cheeks and they're constantly grabbing handfulls of their pants and dragging them up their backsides to no avail.

guys who grab and rearrange their stuff in public... if we did that, what would they be thinking?

white guys who pretend that they're black... you wigga

guys who think that getting high or drunk is the only way to have fun

guys who think your face is located near your chest and who converse with your breasts.

guys who think it's ok to put their hand up your skirt when you walk past them in a crowded club.

guys who are balding, have only a few hairs on their head but still use handfulls of gel.

guys who you've told several times that the answer is NO and believe this translates to YES

stalkers. enough said

obsessive guys. quite scary.

guys who treat their cars as if they're human. sometimes, they treat them better than their girlfreinds. hmm. especially when they talk lovingly about their cars and refer to their car (inatimate object by the way) and 'her' and 'she'.

excessively hairy guys that don't do ANYTHING about it ... and expect their girls to have not one stray hair on any part of their bodies.

guys who want their girlfriends to stay skinny but who accumulate beer bellies, chubby cheeks (both ends) and that's ok

guys who blatently perve on other girls in front of their girlfriends

guys who flirt in front of their girlfriends... or any other time for that matter

guys who believe in the different postcode rule. for god's sake, it was once in an american movie and guys nowadays treat it as gospel

Liars!

guys who wear the same aftershave as my nonno

guys who go out with several girls at once and use one another as their backups.


THE FOLLOWING ARE ADDED BY MY FREINDS AND ARE NOT SUPPORTED BY ME!:

guys who have huge feet and you later find out it's false advertising

Guys who have hairy butt cheeks... trying hard to not confuse you with a monkey!

guys who permanently wear hats, we doubt they even take them off in the shower, when they do they must have a permanent hat mark

guys who have no sense of humour... were you forced to watch IT as a child? you should go get your rear ends examined as you may find a pole up there

guys who can't take it when they realise that girls are better at arcade games than they are... sorry boys but games were not made for males only, so get used to being beaten at your own game!

chauvinist pigs who talk badly about women and who are ignorant to the fact it's 2008... no offence guys but the world is no longer dominated by you (my freind also inserted here 'and we do it better cos we're smarter' but i don't believe that)

guys who are intimidated by strong independant womes and who find them a turn off... would you prefer a woman who is too scared and shy and meek to say or do anything? do you want a partner or a slave?

guys who refer to women as bitch and slut... you guys aren't god's gift to women and the sooner you realise that your brain is located in your head the better for

hello... do you like my palm?

i've never laughed so hard in my life.

D. has a socially retarded friend, C. She scares the immortal crap out of every single guy who has ever shown even the slightest interest in dating her and manages to turn them off once they've already said they'll go out on a date with her and then they back out.

i decided to come to the rescue by volunteering myself and D. for one night to take C. out... to go speed dating. I thought it would be good for C., cos not only would she actually get to the date stage, she would get 20 dates in one night.

So D. and I began researching speed dating. Neither of us had any other knowledge apart from watching that one Kath and Kim episode. So we googled it.

well.

let's just say we quickly decided that C. can never go on a date for the rest of her life and we still won't be stooping to going speed dating for her sake. after reading the kind of tips it gave to dating hopefuls (eg. 'wear deodorant') we realised that we would be in a room FULL of social retards.

observe the list below...

SIGNS SHE IS INTERESTED

Sidelong glances
Looks at him a few times
Holds his gaze briefly
She has downcast eyes, then she looks away
Touches her neck or hair
Touches her lips
Turns body towards him
Tilts her head
Narrows her eyes slightly into an eye smile
Flashes her palm
Smiles

SIGNS HE IS INTERESTED

Looks at you
Moves his body to face you
Posture changes to alert
Adjusts his tie
Puts his hand in his pocket
Dangles his hand from his belt
Slight movement of the pelvis backward
Leans towards you
Smiles
Adopts an open body posture

there are several that i could have a good laugh at, but for the purpose of this post i will only focus on one: GUYS, SHE IS INTERESTED IF SHE FLASHED HER PALM AT YOU.

what the? so after much laughter we decided to put this theory to the test at the Belgian Beer Garden on saturday night. D., my friend S., the lovely socially impaired C. and myself were there. D. and S. went first, leaving me to struggle to converse with C. at the table. 10 minutes later they ran back to us, laughing and yelling 'it worked!'

D. went up to a guy and held out her palm at chest level. he stopped talking, looked down in amazement, and D. quickly asked 'what are you thinking?' He answered, 'I think i like you!' 'Great!' cried D., walking off. 'it's just an experiment, thanks!'

the next guy gave her a high five and told her that it was the best pick up tactic he'd ever seen. She thanked him and moved on. We tried this again and again, and we had 100% success rate. I even sat down at a whole table full of guys and just presented both of my hands. Guys were breaking their necks trying to fight over who was going to have the privelige to read my palm, with the winning guy yelling 'i did a certificate in palm reading, outta my way!'

but the fact remains that guys are still dickheads because the first guy who we palmed later on threw a bottle of alcohol at a security guard who ducked. The bottle sprayed all over us and hit S. in the foot.

long walks on the beach

we were walking down lygon street and a group of guys split themselves to let us through. as we walked past, one guy put his arm around his friend's shoulder and began talking to us, 'girls! this is my friend John. John is a lovely guy. John enjoys long walks on the beach. John... (we had walked past by now) John... no? ok, well your loss.'

I then heard him begin his spiel again 2 seconds later to the next girls that walked past.

choices, choices, choices

ah the possibilities.

me and a couple of girl friends were at the spot dancing, and a guy behind my friend P. took his jacket off and held it at waist level by the shoulders and began to wave at her ass as though she was a bull. He did this all night.

so...

blinkers

people who are happily in successful relationships think it's us (me and the girls) who are the problem. That we don't give guys a chance and we should get to know them. That there are 'heaps' of single available guys so 'what's the problem then?'

as my friend S. so succinctly put it tonight... 'married people have blinkers on'

At a bar tonight S. was talking with an ex work colleague (EWC) who is married. EWC then walked S. over to the birthday boy and introduced them as follows:

EWC: S., this is Birthday Boy. He's single. Birthday Boy, this is S. She's also single.

To HRMs (Happy Relationship Morons)this situation of two people who are both single will suffice to provide a relationship. What they don't understand is all the rest that comes after you've established that the guy is single. It is nearly impossible to fight the urge to sigh and walk away mid sentence when the Single Guy is boasting about any of the following:
-his assets... my friends and I are not gold diggers and the entire topic of conversation makes me annoyed
-his assets and you know they're imaginary
-how he dates models often
-how high up he is in his company or how many people he has underneath him
-how much alcohol he can consume without passing out (yeah, that one goes down a real treat with me)

HRMs just don't get it. And i'm willing to bet my life that if HRMs thought back to when they met their other half, those ridiculous things weren't in their conversations.

worst EVER!

We went to the spot on thursday night and two absolutely disusting things happpened.

disgusting story number 1:
My friend S. came on her own to meet me and my friends at The Spot on Sydney Road in Brunswick. She explained what had happened to her when she got out of the car by herself.

S: I got out of the car and this group of guys yelled out-
B: show us your tits
S: they yelled show us your-
B: tits
S: CUNT

If there is one word in the English language that is still not acceptable to say because it's just too vulgar it's that word. I cannot believe someone said that.

disgusting story number 2:
I was dancing at the end of the dance floor, facing S. Behind her was a tall table with a 45 year old man watching me dance. He was staring so unashamedly and it was infuriating. I kept on looking up at him and giving him a look, but he simply didn't care and kept holding my gaze like as if it was a mutual thing (ha!) He then took his camera phone out of his pocket, held it high with the flash on and took a photo of me. My jaw hit the floor. I was mouthing to him every four letter word under the sun. He looked at me with a smile on his lips, looked down at his phone still smiling, and walked off to the toilet immediately!

In hindsight if that happens again i am going to tackle the pervert for the phone and delete the number... should make for an interesting post if it happens.

pose for the camera!

Uncle P has explained to his daughters and nieces what we've been doing wrong all this time. Thank God, all this time I thought it was all the males in the world, it's actually me... because I had never really been able to succeed in Uncle P's 6 step pick up pose. I shit you not.

STEP 1- raise your eyebrows expectantly
STEP 2- open your eyes as wide as they go
STEP 3- smile, ensuring that you are showing teeth
STEP 4- twist your shoulders so your face is to the one you want to pick up and your shoulders are facing the other direction... highly unnatural stance i might add
STEP 5- tilt your head down, keeping your eyes up
STEP 6- FLUTTER YOUR EYELIDS!!!

i have nothing more to add, i don't need to tease this, it does it itself.

show us ya tits

yes they actually say that. i went out with 3 friends last night and as soon as just one of us was beginning to get out of the car a group of guys made a beeline for her, asking 'where are you off to tonight?'

we shook them off.

then a guy accross the road yelled out 'show us ya tits'

we ignored him.

then we walked into the club, guys trying to stand in front of us so we would be forced to talk to them as we tried to maneouvre our way around them so we could go to the toilet.

we walked into the unisex toilets and i saw a boy walking out of the half that was designated for girls, i looked at him and said 'this is the girl's toilet, get out'. he ran past me. one of the barmaids walked out behind him and told me angrily that she had just found him having sex in the toilet with a girl who had already run out. 'F'n pig' she spat.

then later on at crown we were heading towards the escalators and two guys joined our group and started talking a hundred miles an hour 'hey, how you girls going, what did you get up to tonight etc' they followed us down on the step behind us continuing their blabber, one of the guys putting their head between mine and my friend's head. we weren't saying anything, and one of my friends looked at her shoes. This made the guy pipe up 'now you're looking away from me and pretending you can't hear me, see we're connecting and i don't even know you yet' I burst out laughing.

we got to the bottom and they were still crapping on and they were desperate to get our attention so one of them pulled my friend's hair (grade 2!?) she turned around and yelled 'don't touch my hair!' and we kept on walking. she was really angry cos he had really yanked at it. then he came up to us outside, still trying desperately to get a reaction, and i turned to him in my primary holiday program voice and asked him sternly if he would 'come over her so i can pull your hair out from the roots' They finally got lost.

ah, happy happy joy joy.

no shame whatsoever

it's just that they don't care. they don't care if you think they're morons, or that they're stupid or anything at all.

i was at the dress up christmas party and i was posing for my friend who was taking a photo of me in my geisha costume. right as she was saying 'one, two...' this random guy who didn't know any of us came up behind me, put his arm around me, and posed with his other hand doing the peace sign. i turned around to him and said 'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?' at which point the flash went off which has now made for a fantastic photo.

who DOES that?!

a first

so this blog has shown so far that every time we meet a male stranger they prove to be dickheads. for the first time since i began writing this that did not happen.

Danielle and I went to St Kilda sea baths last night and went to the bar to have drinks. when i said 'thank you very much' the bartender turned to me, pointed his index fingers at me like guns, and said 'no, thank YOU very much!'

danielle and i smiled. he smiled back.

this just shows that it takes VERY LITTLE to impress us due to all the other morons, and comparitively he was a catch!

must have something to do with hudson's...

i went in for my 3rd massage today and got there a bit early, so again i decided to pop into Hudson's for a coffee. As i stepped into the cafè i saw shakira boy having a break, who stopped talking to his co-worker mid sentence, dropped his jaw and did not make any attempt whatsoever to hide the fact that he was looking me up and down... and up and down... and up and down. i looked at him, muttered 'ffs' and rolled my eyes.

later on i was walking back down King's street and there was a 20-something relatively good-looking guy sitting on a table outside. well i thought he was good looking till i heard him say 'hey baby! how you doing?...' i edged closer to the window shop as i walked past him when all of a sudden his friend, from the inside of the coffee shop, tapped manically at the glass right as my face was only 10 centimetres away. i jumped in the air and tried to compose my walking so i wouldn't fall, all the while he was still saying random crap like 'what... you can't speak? speak to me will ya?'

after i was a few meters away i realised that one of the things he yelled sounded a lot like 'don't hate me cos you aint me'. COME ON!

day mmm-hmmm

i went to a new kebab shop near work for lunch yesterday. i sat down and waited for my food on the same small cafe table as a 40-ish man. i gave him a tiny meaningless smile when i sat down, which just meant 'i'm going to sit down at this table for a minute' come on, everyone knows if you're invading someone's space or in this matter someone's table you have to be nice about it, therefore the smile. EVERYONE knows it is not a pick up tactic. it's like as when you're at church and it's full and you have to sqeeze past people, you give them a little nothing smile to say 'sorry if i'm inconveniencing you but i'm going to do it anyway'. you don't see guys at church jumping up and asking 'so what natio are ya?'

anyway so the 40 year old starts chatting me up while i gave him one word answers and turned away from him slightly and became suddenly extremely interested in eating my dolmades which weren't even mine, i bought them for my boss, but i just didn't want to talk to him and figured if i had a mouth full of vine leaves it would make for a valid excuse.

all that aside... when i'm 40, if i'm still single i would never chat up a 23 year old. and if i did it wouldn't be as lame as 'so... how's your day been / hot weather we've been having hey / myself, i like the rain, it's romantic (i gagged at this point)'

my life is futile.

day whatever

it's hard to sit down and write all the idiotic things that have happened male-related because they're such a common occurance that i think they're normal and i quickly forget them.

1- 2 days ago, driving with the windows down with my friend and we both looked REALLY good, a guy stuck his head out the window of a party bus and barked at us to get our attention... like in coming to america when she barks like the little dog ARK ARK ARK.

HMM I'LL ADD MORE TO THIS LATER....

day whatever i'm up to of this experiment

see now mum and dad clearly don't want me to have accurate findings for this experiment so they took cass and me to the yarra valley where we were the only girls under the age of 55... even the parentals were young comparitively. so i have no stories to write about here.

last night we went to cq in the city. it was FREEZING so i wore jeans, heels, a singlet and a jumper for the walk from the car to the club. the bouncer took one look at what my friend and i were wearing (she was wearing a cardigan too) and said 'don't bother, you're not getting in'. he then proceeded to let in random girls who were very clearly dressed by blind people in because you could see their butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of either hot pants or micro mini skirts.

i have never been knocked back, so i wasn't really upset, but it just goes to show that in order for us to meet guys we would have to go where guys are and in order to get into where the guys are we need to be wearing our bikinis on a 12 degree night!